Key Takeaways
- The most important skill your preschooler is building right now isn’t reading. It’s executive function — the brain’s air traffic control system.
- Executive function has three jobs: pause before reacting (inhibitory control), hold information and use it (working memory), and switch strategies when one doesn’t work (cognitive flexibility).
- 90% of the brain that runs this system is built before age 5. After that, the wiring is largely set.
- Most preschoolers are mastering these skills before their parents know to call them by name. The work just doesn’t look like work.
- A child who can pause, hold a thought, and adjust when stuck will outperform a child who can read but can’t do any of the three. Reading without executive function is fluent without the steering wheel.
- You don’t need a Montessori classroom to support this at home — but you do need to know what you’re looking at. This post will show you.
There’s a four-year-old in our classroom this fall who walks across the room carrying a small brass bell. She holds it carefully, both hands wrapped around the clapper so it doesn’t ring. She crosses fifteen feet of open floor. Other children are working. The bell stays silent.
She could ring it. She doesn’t.
If you watched her from across the room, you’d see a child carrying a bell. What you wouldn’t see is the most sophisticated cognitive work happening in any preschool that day. She’s training the part of her brain that will, eighteen years from now, help her stop scrolling and start her thesis. The part that will keep her from sending the text she shouldn’t send. The part that runs her whole life, quietly, in the background, for the rest of it.
It has a name. Executive function. And it’s the most important skill of preschool — more important than reading, more important than counting, more important than knowing the colors and the shapes. I’ve been teaching preschool for twenty-five years and I’ll say it plainly: if I had to choose between a four-year-old who could read fluently and a four-year-old who had strong executive function, I’d take the second one every time. It isn’t close.
Here’s what executive function is, why these years matter so much, and what it looks like when it’s being trained — at school, and at home.
What Is Executive Function in Preschoolers?
Executive function is the brain’s air traffic control system. It’s the set of skills that lets a child plan, pay attention, hold information in mind, follow multi-step directions, manage emotions, and adjust when things don’t go the way they expected. Researchers sometimes call them self-regulation skills or cognitive control. The clinical literature breaks them into three core components.
Inhibitory control is the ability to pause before reacting. To resist the impulse. To wait your turn, to not blurt out the answer, to hold the bell without ringing it. It’s the foundation of self-discipline and, eventually, of focus.
Working memory is the ability to hold information in mind and use it at the same time. A child who can hear a three-step instruction (“get your shoes, put them on, meet me at the door”) and follow it through is using working memory. So is the child who’s building a pattern with blocks and has to keep the pattern in mind while she’s reaching for the next piece.
Cognitive flexibility is the ability to switch strategies when the first one doesn’t work. To try a different approach. To see a problem from a new angle. It’s the skill that turns a frustrating moment into a creative one — and it’s the skill that, when missing, looks like a tantrum.
A child with strong executive function can pause when she needs to, remember what matters, and try a different way when the first one doesn’t work. That’s not a school skill. That’s a life skill. And it starts being built before she’s old enough to spell her own name.
The three components work together. A four-year-old who’s building a tower is using all three at once — holding the structure in her mind (working memory), not knocking it over when her hand brushes it (inhibitory control), and finding a new way to balance the top block when the obvious way fails (cognitive flexibility). Real cognitive work hits all three at the same time. That’s why preschool, done well, is so much harder than it looks.
Why Ages 0–5 Are the Window That Matters Most
I don’t say this to scare anybody, but it’s worth knowing: the brain architecture that runs executive function is roughly 90% built before a child turns five. The prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that handles all three components — develops faster between birth and age five than at any other point in life. After that, the rate of new wiring slows down dramatically. By adolescence, the system is largely structural. The fine-tuning continues into the mid-twenties, but the foundation is set early.
That’s why these years matter so much. Not because preschool is academic preparation. Because preschool is when the brain is choosing what kind of brain it’s going to be.
What’s worth understanding — and what most parents don’t know — is that executive function isn’t trained by drills or flashcards. It’s trained by what researchers call “serve and return” experiences. A child does something. An adult responds. The child sees the result. The child adjusts. That feedback loop, repeated thousands of times across thousands of small moments, is what builds the wiring. Pouring water from a pitcher and not spilling it. Carrying a bell without ringing it. Waiting for a friend to finish before asking for a turn. Each of those moments, small as they look, is a brain-building moment.
executive function by sarit kapurA Morning in Our Classroom: What Executive Function Looks Like
Let me show you what this actually looks like. Not in a textbook. In our classroom on an ordinary Tuesday.
The girl with the bell I mentioned at the start? She’s training inhibitory control. She picked up the bell because she wanted to ring it. She knows that if she rings it, the room stops — that’s the rule, that’s the agreement. She also knows that other children are working and she doesn’t want to interrupt them. So she carries it. The whole way across the room. Both hands. Silent. When she sets it down on the shelf, she lets out a tiny breath. You’d miss it if you weren’t watching. That’s the work.
At a small table by the window, a four-year-old boy is working with a wooden material called the binomial cube. It’s a three-dimensional puzzle — eight wooden blocks of different sizes and colors that fit together inside a hinged wooden box. To put it back together, he has to hold the entire pattern in his mind: which block goes where, which face goes up, which color sits next to which. He’s been at it for twenty minutes. He doesn’t look up. He’s not memorizing — he’s reasoning. He’s holding the whole pattern in his head and using it at the same time. That’s working memory.
And in the corner, on the rug, another child is working with the red rods — a Montessori material that’s ten wooden rods of graduated length. She’s trying to build a maze with them. Her first attempt didn’t work — the rods kept rolling. She’s stopped. She’s looking at the rods. She picks up a different one and tries a different orientation. That doesn’t work either. She picks up a third rod. She tilts her head. She tries again.
That’s cognitive flexibility. The first way didn’t work. Watch her find a second way. Then a third.
None of these children would tell you they’re working on their brains. They’d tell you they’re carrying a bell, or building a puzzle, or making a maze. The brain work is invisible — to them, to the parent at pickup, sometimes even to a casual observer. But it’s the most important work happening in that room.
This is what Montessori looks like when it’s working. Not because the materials are magic. The materials are wooden. The magic is what the materials demand of the child — pause, hold, adjust, try again. That demand, repeated across a three-hour work cycle, five days a week, for three years before kindergarten, is what builds the wiring.
What Executive Function Isn’t
I’ll save you some time. Executive function isn’t intelligence. It’s not academic readiness. It’s not the same thing as being “advanced” or “ahead.” A child can know all the letters of the alphabet and still not have strong executive function. A child can read at a kindergarten level at age four and still struggle to wait her turn, follow a multi-step direction, or recover from a small disappointment.
That’s the part most parents don’t expect. Early reading gets the praise. Early counting gets the praise. Knowing the planets and the dinosaurs gets the praise. Nobody praises the four-year-old who can wait two minutes for her snack without falling apart — but that four-year-old has something far more valuable than the one who can read.
I tell parents this all the time and it never lands the first time. Reading is a skill. Executive function is the operating system that decides what to do with the skill. Reading without executive function is fluent without the steering wheel. You can decode the words and still not be able to sit still long enough to finish the book.
The kindergarten teachers I talk to don’t ask whether a child can read. They ask whether the child can sit, listen, follow a direction, and recover from a “no.” Those are executive function skills. They’re what makes a child ready, in the way kindergarten teachers mean ready.
How to Support Executive Function at Home
You don’t need a Montessori classroom to do this. You need to know what you’re looking at, and then you need to stop stopping it. Here’s what that means in practice.
Let her finish what she’s started. If your four-year-old is concentrating on something — even something as small as putting her shoes on by herself — wait. Don’t help unless she asks. Don’t speed her up because you’re running late. The slow, frustrating work of doing it herself is exactly the work that builds the wiring. The minute you take over, the brain work stops.
Give her real jobs. Carrying a glass of water to the table. Setting the silverware. Pouring her own milk. The job needs to be real enough that she could fail — that’s what makes it cognitive work. Pretend jobs (helping you “stir” a bowl you’re already stirring) don’t train anything.
Stop rescuing the small failures. When the milk spills, the executive function moment isn’t the spill — it’s the cleanup. The pause, the assessment (“what do I do now?”), the strategy (“get a towel”), the follow-through. If you swoop in and clean it up, the brain work is yours, not hers.
Use multi-step instructions. “Get your shoes, put them on, and meet me at the door” is three steps. That’s working memory. Most three- and four-year-olds can do this if you give them a chance. Most parents under-ask. We give one step at a time because we’re afraid of the failure. Try two. Try three. See what she can do.
Wait through the frustration. When the puzzle piece doesn’t fit, don’t reach over and fit it for her. Let her sit in the not-working moment. That’s where cognitive flexibility is built. The brain literally cannot learn to try a second way if the first way always gets rescued.
None of this is complicated. None of it requires special materials or training. What it requires is the willingness to slow down — to let the small moments be the brain-building moments — instead of moving through them as quickly as possible. The work doesn’t look like work. That’s the point. That’s why so many parents miss it.
When to Be Curious, Not Worried
Parents ask me all the time how to tell if their child’s executive function is developing typically. The honest answer is: comparing your child to other children at this age is the only real way to know, and most first-time parents don’t have that frame of reference. School is often the first place that comparison becomes possible.
What I can tell you is that executive function develops in a wide range. A four-year-old who can hold a three-step direction and a four-year-old who can hold a one-step direction are both within the typical range, depending on the day, the temperament, and how tired they are. What matters is the trajectory, not the snapshot.
If you’re watching your child and something feels persistently off — if a five-year-old can’t ever wait, can’t ever hold a thought, can’t ever switch when stuck — that’s worth a conversation. Not panic. A conversation. With your child’s teacher, with your pediatrician, with a developmental specialist if needed. The Texas Early Childhood Intervention program offers free evaluations for children under three, and your school district is required to evaluate older children at no cost. Knowing where your child is on the developmental map is always better than wondering.
(I wrote a longer piece about what to do when a teacher raises a developmental concern, if that’s where you are right now: read it here.)
Curiosity Studios and the Edquisitive Approach
I started this post in our classroom and I want to end it there. The reason I can describe these three children — the bell, the binomial cube, the red rods — is that I see it every day. Not as a curriculum we wrote in a binder. As what happens when a child is given real materials, real time, and real space to do the cognitive work themselves.
That’s the curriculum we built at Edquisitive. We call it Curiosity Studios — an inquiry-based learning program for children ages six weeks to six years that uses Montessori materials and STEM principles to train executive function in the years it can actually be trained. We have four campuses across San Antonio: Spanish Grove Academy, Fair Oaks, NW Military, and Medical Center. Each one runs the same curriculum, adjusted for the age groups it serves.
If you’ve read this far, you’re already doing the most important thing — paying attention to the work that doesn’t look like work. The next step, if you want it, is to come see it. Schedule a tour at the campus closest to you. Watch the bell get carried across the room. Watch the binomial cube get reassembled. Watch the red rods get rebuilt three different ways. You’ll see what I see.
Stop stopping them.
Melissa Zamora is the Head of Schools at Edquisitive Montessori and the host of Conversations for the Beginning Years — a podcast and video series for parents and educators navigating the years that shape everything. Follow the series on Instagram @conversationsbeginningyears. More resources at the Parent Curiosity Hub.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is executive function in preschoolers?
Executive function is the brain’s air traffic control system — the set of mental skills that lets a child plan, focus, hold information in mind, follow multi-step directions, manage emotions, and adjust when things don’t go as expected. In preschoolers, it shows up in everyday moments: waiting for a turn, remembering a three-step instruction, trying a second way when the first didn’t work. Researchers identify three core components: inhibitory control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility.
Why is executive function important in early childhood?
Approximately 90% of the brain architecture that runs executive function is built before age five. The prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for all three executive function components — develops faster between birth and age five than at any other point in life. The skills built during these years predict outcomes in school readiness, social development, emotional regulation, and academic achievement well into adolescence and adulthood. Strong executive function in early childhood is a stronger predictor of long-term success than early reading or math skills.
What are the three components of executive function?
The three core components are inhibitory control (the ability to pause before reacting and resist impulses), working memory (the ability to hold information in mind and use it at the same time), and cognitive flexibility (the ability to switch strategies when the first approach doesn’t work). All three components work together — a child building a tower uses inhibitory control to not knock it over, working memory to hold the structure in mind, and cognitive flexibility to find a new way when a block doesn’t balance.
What activities build executive function in preschoolers?
The activities that build executive function don’t look like academic drills. They look like everyday tasks done by the child, with adults waiting and not rescuing. Pouring water from a pitcher, carrying something fragile across a room, putting on shoes without help, following a two- or three-step direction, cleaning up a spill, building with blocks, working a puzzle without an adult’s hand reaching in. Montessori materials are designed specifically to demand all three components at once. At home, the rule is simple: give your child a real job, then wait.
Is executive function more important than reading in preschool?
For long-term school and life outcomes, yes. Kindergarten teachers consistently report that the strongest predictor of a child’s readiness isn’t whether they can read — it’s whether they can sit, listen, follow a direction, and recover from a small disappointment. Those are executive function skills. A child with strong executive function will pick up reading. A child who can read but can’t regulate her behavior will struggle in a classroom regardless of her reading level. Reading without executive function is fluent without the steering wheel.
How do I know if my preschooler’s executive function is developing typically?
Executive function develops in a wide range, and most first-time parents don’t have a frame of reference because they’ve never spent all day in a room with other children the same age. School is often the first place that comparison becomes possible. What matters is the trajectory, not a single moment. If a persistent pattern concerns you — a child who never waits, never holds a thought, never adjusts when stuck — that’s worth a conversation with your pediatrician or your child’s teacher. In Texas, Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) provides free evaluations for children under three, and the school district evaluates older children at no cost.
Want to See This in a Real Classroom?
If you’ve read this far and you’re wondering what this would look like for your child, the best thing you can do is come watch. Not a tour where someone walks you through a brochure. A real visit to a real classroom, during the work cycle, where you can see the bell get carried, the binomial cube get reassembled, and the red rods get rebuilt three different ways.
Schedule a Tour
Follow @edquisitivemontessori on Instagram
Explore the Parent Curiosity Hub
Related Reading
Benefits of Montessori Education for Young Children | Kindergarten Readiness Guide | The Courage Conversation | What to Do After a Teacher Raises a Developmental Concern
